I don't care...and other social conventions
I've decided that the US social convention of asking "How are you?" as an icebreaker is something that I'm going to give up. I know that it's become the standard greeting, but I really don't care how most people are doing, nor they I. So I'm going to attempt to replace it with a more generic greeting such as "Good Morning" or "Good Afternoon" or even (gasp) "Hello".
I work with the public daily in my role as a librarian and I see many social interaction conventions that get played out by those who approach my desk. I had to put up a sign that says "Bother Me" because people would come up and say "I don't mean to bother you, but...". Well, it's not a bother. It's why I'm here - to help you. If you didn't have questions, I wouldn't have a job. And it's not just being nice. Most people are nice. Most people are polite. But things like "I don't mean to bother you" and "How are you" go beyond that. They tread carefully into what you're doing and your well-being.
But, to be honest, they really don't care. They don't know what they're saying even, because if you answer with something other than "good" or "fine", people are taken aback and don't know what to say. Next time someone asks you how you're doing, tell them that you need to have surgery the next day. Watch them stutter to find something to say. Or, more likely, they won't even hear your answer.
I know I'm not the first one to rail against this - comics have taken it up (George Carlin comes to mind), as have radio and TV commentators - but I really think we need to start thinking about it. Unless I know you well, I don't care how you are. And if I do care, I'll ask as part of our conversation, not as an icebreaker.
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But I really like this convention. It takes a little more time and concentration than hello, hi, hey. You spend a few more split seconds focusing on the people you encounter, be they strangers or friends or somewhere in between. A simple and polite icebreaker.
I still stumble over Good Night, and tend towards Good Evening unless I'm headed for bed, but the practice is something I want to take with me.
I love that you have a "Bother Me" sign. :-)
because i am immature, i generally ask patrons (mostly students) "what's up?" or, if i am feeling more grown-up, "how can i help you?'
the most that a good number of my colleagues say to me here is "how are you?" not particularly caring for an answer of any depth -- so i don't give them one. a simple one-word response is all that is required to maintain the illusion that this is a collegial place to work.
on days like this, when the santa ana winds blow and i'm overheated by steam pipes, i am tempted to be snarky. but the president of the institution would most likely disapprove. so i'll instead try to figure out places to be where i won't die of heat exhaustion and let my tongue outstrip my brain or sense of propriety.