12 posts tagged “friends”

She met Pleeplius!

And I can't tell if Kiersty is trying to give Brian rabbit ears or thump him on the head.

but for a different reason.

fuck. 

not capitalized, not said with anger or overt emotion.  but said with resignation and understanding.

Two people I care about are in crisis.  Both are strong and will get through it.  But it's tough to watch.

fuck.

Show us what you're thankful for.

I tried to find a good photo of my friends, but all the ones I have aren't safe for public consumption.

For those who really hate that the retail Christmas season starts before Halloween these days.

He's the best sorta younger brother that I could have.  Any woman who snaps him up is very very lucky.

One of the greatest things I've ever read was in an email from my friend:

I'm done making someone a priority in my life who makes me an option in theirs.

Words to live by. 

Well, I've been doing some locked posting other than the lyric of the day, but I know there are people who aren't on vox that read my blog and have been wondering what's up.  Therefore, a year in review - especially since today was a major significant day in my family last year.

So:

• This time last year I was in Philadelphia waiting for my aunt to have her kidney removed because she had kidney cancer.
  She's now doing very well - better than she has in years.
• Around the time of my grandmother's 90th birthday, things came to a head with my not-soon-enough ex and we decided to divorce.
  I'm still in that process and am tired of it.  I just want it over.
  
• I started living life the way I want to, on my terms, as who I am. 
  This is the healthiest and happiest I've been in years.  I have good friends and have really found what's important to me. 
• Work is work.  I'm always looking for something else, but in the current climate of FL libraries, I'm hesitant to change jobs.
  I like what I do and most of the time where I do it.  Right now, I have the hat trick of stress:  divorce, selling a house and people close to me dying.  I don't need to add a 4th stressor.

The only thing I can add is that at this exact time, I have had, for the better part of the past 2 weeks, in and out of my head, the following song.  For those who get it, bear with me.  It's a rollercoaster that I'm not really minding riding at the moment.  It is what it's supposed to be.  And it's all just fine.

This is not about love
Cuz I am not in love
In fact, I can't stop
falling
out...
I miss this stupid ache.
-Fiona Apple, "Not About Love"

but I didn't take it, so I don't want to put it up on flickr.  So I'll share it here with y'all.  :)
Was taken playing quarters one night with the gang.  That's Ryan's hand out of focus in front of me.

Stress seems to come in waves.  Most of the time I can roll with it and body surf it into the shore where I can take a breather and recoup my breath and my situation and my life.  Other times, it hits me when I'm turned and can't see it coming. 
Last week was one of those times.  I should have seen it coming.  Everyone else saw it; well, not everyone, my mother was wondering when it would hit, my therapist said I was early and she expected it about 2 months from now. The trigger was something trivial, as it usually is, but the wave hit me sideways and knocked me down.  And, instead of falling, I lashed out to those who I really shouldn't have, in a place I shouldn't have, in ways I really shouldn't have. 
I've apologized to those I hurt.  One has forgiven me.  One has not.  But, as I read on a fortune cookie once, sometimes the last word should be I'm sorry (yes, it's 2 words.  What do you expect from a fortune cookie?).  And it was from my side.  Should this person decide to accept it, that's fine.  But there's nothing else I can do to make it so.
After the stress and the lashing out, there was the time of feeling like shit.  And after the time of feeling like shit, well, then comes the migraine.  Which was Saturday. 
Well, I'm better now, but still sad.  My stress cost me a friendship. 
And for that I'm truly sorry.

...have spent an hour on the desk.  the only time we were busy was when I was trying to talk to my LA in library school about career options.
...have been commissioned by the woman that has my former job to teach google to our patrons.  'bout fucking time.
...have had a marriage proposal from a very cute patron.  who then told me that he was broke. I'm glad I remember Rule #2.
...read this post at Pandagon about class warfare and why companies really want to keep their workers living paycheck to paycheck.  It's shit that I've been saying for years.
...started my daily email back and forth with the 4 people I do that with.  These ongoing conversations will probably total close to 50 emails today.

If you call me and tell me you're on your way over but then change your mind, call me to let me know.  That way, I don't picture you wrapped around a pole on the Causeway.

kthx...
-t